


Linger

by Wugim



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio), The Paternoster Gang (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/F, Haunting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wugim/pseuds/Wugim
Summary: She had created it because Jenny was human, and Vastra had needed a base in order to integrate their minds. She had never imagined that it would cause her to linger.
Relationships: Jenny Flint/Madame Vastra
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Linger

Vastra could still feel the heat of the warehouse on her skin and the hissing erupting from her throat as the ape pointed its gun toward her when she awoke to Jenny’s sleepy request that she create a dreamscape. Which was quite odd, all things considered. She had been quite certain that she had been murdered.

“Ma’am,” she heard, coupled with the familiar sensation of Jenny’s body pressing against her own. Only, it didn’t feel quite right. The weight was all wrong. Jenny felt heavier, cooler, less soft than normal.

Perhaps she was so deep in sleep she was feeling Jenny’s sensations.

Vastra set to work, imagining something grand to impress Jenny. Her wife always did get a kick from going somewhere exotic. Though perhaps, given how exhausted they were, she would appreciate something more intimate. A garden, perhaps?

Vastra remembered the green leaves, the soft autumn breeze, and the beautiful yellow-and-red apples of the orchid they had visited not to long ago. It was a lovely place, with stone benches atop hills that saw what seemed to be half the country side. Vastra had drunk it all in, remembering as many details as she could for this exact purpose.

The connection failed. No tired visuals of birds overhead or sounds of the wind darting passed or even the feel of clover and grass beneath their feet. Certainly no Jenny popping into existence at her side.

Disturbed, she tried again with something easier. Their local tea-house didn’t work, nor did their parlor. She couldn’t even muster the sensation of nearly succeeding. It felt rather like she was trying to pull a cube from a circular hole with a wire. She was trying, only she was getting stuck on faulty equipment.

Not faulty, Vastra realized with a start. Never faulty. She was trying to channel her telepathy through her wife’s mind. She only needed to return to her own to initiate the link properly.

When Vastra tried to pull back into her own mind, she got stuck again. She was trapped, which, considering all of the clues together, made perfect sense. There was no returning to a mind that wasn’t there.

Jenny reached out again, stronger this time, for a dreamscape.

“Jenny,” Vastra tried to say. Only, it didn’t come out quite right. Her tongue didn’t move, her throat didn’t vibrate. She could only pull back on the telepathic link she had created so long ago with her.

“Jenny,” Vastra thought, tugging on the link. Could Jenny feel her? Was their link, strong enough still for Vastra to comfort her?

“Jenny, I love you so much,” Vastra thought. “I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so, so sorry. My dear, I love you so, so much. Can you understand me? Are you able to hear me? I’m so sorry. I love you so much. Jenny?”

She continued, waiting for Jenny to respond. The grief rising through her throat was selfish. It was damnable and useless. Jenny was still alive, and wasn’t that all she had hoped for in life? That Jenny might outlive her?

Jenny stirred in her sleep. Her arm moved over to the empty side of the bed and Vastra could feel her attempts to reach out for a dreamscape dwindle.

In its place lay bare, unchecked grief.

Vastra’s attempts to reach out had done nothing at all.

“It’s alright, my love. I love you so much. You’re safe and alive. I’m here with you, Jenny. I promise, I love you,” Vastra thought.

Vastra could feel Jenny’s grief on every phantom impression of Vastra’s scales against her arm. Jenny was dreaming of reaching out to her, and she was failing.

How many times had Vastra dreamed this dream? How many nights had she awoken to the fading images of Jenny slipping out of existence, growing too old to breathe, being taken by some ape with a gun?

Her only comfort had been Jenny’s presence, her warmth being within arm’s reach.

Vastra couldn’t offer her such a comfort.

Perhaps it would be better if she tried to eliminate the platform of the link from Jenny’s mind. She had created it because Jenny was human, and Vastra had needed a base in order to integrate their minds. She had never imagined that it would cause her to linger.

If she eliminated the link, however, it would cut her off from ever being with her wife ever again. Vastra had never feared death. She was already dead, just a figment that she had left with Jenny.

If Vastra destroyed the link, her only fear would be realized. She would never be able to be with Jenny again, and Vastra was a selfish creature.

“I love you, Jenny. I promise, Jenny. I will always be here with you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Jenny shifted in her sleep again, her arm stretching. Then her eyes opened and her hands clenched into a fist.

Her eyes were red and aching. Vastra had never, never wanted this.

“Vastra,” Jenny murmured.

Jenny closed her eyes again, and Vastra could feel the sensation of her own hand against Jenny’s face. A ghost of a touch of comfort that Jenny remembered dully.

Only, it didn’t feel quite right. It didn’t really feel like much of anything.

Jenny retracted her arm and pressed her face into her pillow, her body shaking.

“Jenny,” Vastra thought. “I love you so, so much. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So I had the very bad thought that telepathy could work by someone duplicating their consciousness onto their partner to create a psychic link, and then just updating the details whenever they actually connect.  
> Then I realized that if that were the case, someone dying might not close off that link. You would just have a ghost-version of your partner with you, in your head, forever.


End file.
